false humility

"'Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you, and I am no longer worthy to be called you son,' ... But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him"

It's worth noting that there is no mention of how the son felt or what he did. Personally, I don't think there is even a need to do so, because we already know the answer from first hand experience.

As a believer, I find myself putting limits on God's forgiveness. I only allow myself to hope to be forgiven for the the actual sins I am guilty of, while never even fathoming that God would/could forgive me. 

Shame, ladies and gentlemen...This position before the Lord, where we cannot bear to look at Him. We close our eyes tightly hoping He holds back His wrath. Our total depravity affirmed, yet he is running towards us?  

What does the son do, how does he feel? This is opposite of everything innate to humans. We earn forgiveness, we make it up, we expect the record of wrong to be kept, we beat ourselves up, we run away, we hide.

"Therefore, if you died with Christ from the basic principles of the world, why, as though living in the world, do you subject yourselves to regulations...according to the commandments and doctrines of men? These things indeed have an appearance of wisdom in self-imposed religion, false humility, and neglect of the body, but are of no value against the indulgence of the flesh"

The false humility part part is what gets me. In my "humbling" of myself, I am just beating myself up, and am therefore allowing sin more power over me than I am allowing God. I am in fact "humbling" myself to this idol I have created, because the one true God is all powerful. I sin, in my sin, because of my sin. Depravity, affirmed.